A Cat’s Search For The Perfect Household Surface

Comfort is but a hiss away.

Photo by Jae Park on Unsplash

Try sleeping on your human’s shoe where you can enjoy deep inhales of the footy-fragrance as you drift off to dreamland. As an added bonus, if you wake up with the need to cough up a fur ball you have the perfect receptacle right beneath you.

The magazine the human is actively reading is a great place to lay. Sure you have to hiss and spit a little to get the human to relinquish it to you. But once accomplished you can smother yourself in those glossy pages.

The bed is a spectacular spot for a nap, and no I’m not talking about the pet bed the human purchased for you. That is for suckers like the dog. No, you get the human’s bed. Sprawl out and relax in the comfort go their expensive memory foam mattress. It’s lush, it’s plush, it’s yours. Scream if the human tries to move you or sleep comfortably in the bed with you. Lay on their face and claw it in your sleep. Should the human treat you poorly by say going on vacation or having friends over, don’t be afraid to pee all over the bed. They will buy a new one. They always do.

Your human’s lap is cozy in the winter, but you have to put up with that damn human trying to pet you all the time. I mean seriously keep your hands to yourself, human. No means no! Let me suck up all your heat, but no…