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Insects With Identity Issues
There is so much more to being a bug in today’s world.
Everyone feels bad about the plight of the male ladybug, but many other insects struggle with their identities. Consider the turmoil and pains of the following bugs:
-Dung beetles with OCD who would sooner die than roll up balls of pooh
-Wasps that are really Jewish
-Swallowtail butterflies who prefer to spit
-Hot yellow jackets who don’t enjoy wearing outerwear
-Bumblebees on OK Cupid
-Homeless houseflies
-Daddy long legs that can’t have children
-Carpenter ants who prefer decoupage
-Atheist praying mantis
-Vegan mosquitoes
-Fleas that really don’t like The Red Hot Chili Peppers
-Diabetic honeybees
-Dragonflies that prefer non-fiction
-Black widows who are actually widowers
-Stink bugs that wash regularly and take great pains to smell nice
-Mayflies born in April
-Junebugs born in May
-Cockroaches with vaginas
-German cockroaches who are American citizens
-Fireflies who do not enjoy tales about space cowboys
I hope there is a support group out there for these creatures. Maybe it meets in a church basement where the insects eat cookie crumbs while sipping water from the dripping window unit as they commiserate about their issues. It’s a tough life for these bugs. Everybody needs a little support in this crazy world.
