Member-only story
Products for the Obscenely Wealthy
We here at the Mansion Shopping Network are proud to provide our elite customers with the products they desire, ordered from the comfort of their estate.
The Mansion Shopping Network developed products the modern one percenters desire. These items are designed so you can fondly recollect those days when “the struggle was real.”
Not nouveau riche? No problem! Our merchandise will transport you and your old money, temporarily, to the land of the fortune-less. You can experience the world as the unprosperous do, but no worries, at the end of the day you get to slip back into the good life.
Running on the Sidewalk Kit (Your Cost $60,700 or 7 Flex Payments of $8,671.43 plus $3.50 S&H)
A personal trainer in your home gym? Ha! Gym membership? Nope, that’s for the middle class. You are going to get your blubbery ass out onto the pavement and jog. What’s that? It’s rainy and cold? Well, better bundle up and enjoy the sensation of sweating through thermal underwear. Ahh, feel that chafe? That’s the sensation of a meager income. Kit includes: a pair of floppy running shoes that smell of mildew, thermal underwear, headphones with an extremely long cord, which threatens to trip you and refuses to be wrangled, and a sweatband that has lost its elasticity and must be pushed back into place every few feet.
