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The Sisyphus Diet
Push that rock up the mountain just to do it again.
Hey dieter, welcome to your new lifestyle! You are in for a treat, not a food treat, you ate your lifetime allotment of those. Now it’s time to get down to business and make a change. Here’s what you can expect to experience for the rest of your life:
Hope you like the grocery store because you are constantly going to be there since now everything you eat is perishable as fuck. You buy bananas and by the time you drive home they are overripe and beset on by fruit flies. That’s why you ate processed food, it’s freaking shelf stable, but that was the old you!
And don’t you dare walk into the grocery store without a game plan. That is how Oreos jump into your cart. You need to gather recipes and make a list. Then stick to the perimeter of the store. Do not, I repeat, do not take a shortcut to the skim milk through the cracker and chip aisle. That is a rookie mistake and can cause Ruffles Potato Chips to go straight to your ass. You are better than that. You have a plan.
You will spend hours scouring the internet for recipes that will make low calories meals taste less shitty. It isn’t easy, but with enough spices from the far east, you may be able to make cabbage palatable. You pin so many low-calorie recipes to your Pinterest board that you get an alert from the website with support…
