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Unique Gifts to Give Your Partner
How many years in a row is too many to give your partner beer and licorice?
Gifting is hard, and when you are in a long term relationship it’s harder. Over the years your gifts can get stale no matter how much you love your partner.
Lucky for you, I dreamed up a few gift ideas to improve your future gift giving endeavors. Your loved one will swoon with glee if you present them with any of these fine presents.
Bag O’ Nails
Show your love by presenting your partner with a bag of toenails that you did not just brush off onto the carpet. Be sure to pick a classy bag like a velvet Crown Royale drawstring not just a cheap zip-lock. Next, it is key to emphasize that these are your toenails, and yes you normally would brush them off onto the carpet to be discovered only when your partner is stabbed with one as they traipse barefoot across the room. Your gift is saving your beloved from this foul fate. You’re welcome.
Solo Trip
Give your partner a solo vacation because sometimes the best gift is a break from you and all the dirt you stir up. Your partner will relax and recharge without your whiny tush around to ruin their good time. Honestly, you don’t even have to send them somewhere fancy. They will be…